


One Sweet Love

by BlakesBodyGuard



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Artist Clarke Griffin, Coping, Eventual Happy Ending, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Mental Health Issues, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Professor Bellamy Blake, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Suicidal Thoughts, Therapy, but it's worth it in the end, this won't be easy, trigger warnings will be in each chapter where needed
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-10
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:33:31
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 20,876
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23583889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BlakesBodyGuard/pseuds/BlakesBodyGuard
Summary: Clarke finally felt like she had two feet planted firmly on the ground. Her gallery was thriving, her artwork was selling as fast as it ever had, she had a solid routine, great friends and she had a great relationship with her mother.She's lost a lot in her life, each time she does, another piece of her will breaks.When Clarke meets Bellamy, the carefree and so damned attractive professor of a brother to her friend Octavia, will this be the one that sticks? Or will she have her life shaken and be left battered and bruised once again.What happens when the final piece breaks? Rebuild or Give Up? Clarke will have to decided to either give in or get up and fight.Author Note:I'm not cruel, there is a happy ending, but it's not going to be the typical way. There will be pain, and not just from a slow burn. This is also a fluffy and happy fic to start with that will progressively get a bit darker before we see the light of the happy ending.**Clarke deals a lot with Mental Health issue's in this fic. Therapy, Anxiety, Depression, Grief, TW//Suicidal idealizations/attempts.****Trigger warnings will be posted before each chapter that warrants them.**
Relationships: Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 13
Kudos: 71





	1. Ready and Waiting

Her alarm sounds at 6am sharp. She rolls over to turn it off, sits up to stretch, then she’s up for the day.

It’s a beautiful spring morning in New York City, and the sounds of birds chirping and traffic on the street below her is a welcoming sound to start her day.

Clarke has a very meticulous routine that she goes through. Coffee, work out in her building’s gym, shower, and  get dressed for the day. It’s Monday, so she heads to her favorite coffee shop and cafe on her way to work.

Common Ground’s is owned and operated by her good friends Monty and Harper Green. They all went to NYU together and decided to stay in the city to live out their dream of being business owners in the big city. They are her first social interaction of the day usually, and it’s the best way to start off her week, especially with Monty’s house blend and Harper's delicious chocolate croissants.

She walks into the busy cafe at 7:40am sharp and stands in line. She’s checking her email  on her phone  while waiting , when she hears someone come in and stand in line behind her, sounding agitated while  talking  on the phone.

“Look, I’m too tired to do this already this morning. My flight was a big delayed mess getting in this weekend, I have no idea the best route to get to work yet, there are rude people everywhere, and traffic and cars trying to run you over at any chance. I just want some coffee, and we can talk about this later.” the stranger said gruffly.

She wasn’t trying to eavesdrop, but it’s kind of hard when you’re in a tight space and speaking loudly in public, to not be overheard.

She takes pity on whatever poor soul is standing behind her. She knows what her first few weeks, hell, even months were like in the city for the first time. She can definitely sympathize with him.

Just as  the gears start to turn in her head, she approaches the counter only for Monty to be smiling bright at her with a cup carrier full of coffee’s and a brown paper sack that says “Green is Good” on it.

“You were ready for me today I see.” Clarke laughs, as she takes the items from him.

“It’s Monday Clarke, you act like this hasn’t been your order every Monday since we opened 2 years ago.” Monty smiled.

“Well, here’s a curve ball for you. Put the guy behind  me’s order on my tab for this week. Sounds like he’s new to the city and could use it.” she winked at Monty and stepped away from the counter.

The gentleman stepped up to place his order next, and as soon as he reached for his wallet, Monty just held up his hand, “It’s already been taken care of sir.”

“Oh, by who?” he asked.

Monty nodded his head towards the door, as Clarke was just about to push it open and exit.

She looked at the Man as he turned around to see her, and she just gave him a welcoming smile, nodded once, then headed out towards the office.

“Wow.” is all he could say.

“Yeah, she’s something alright. Can I get a name for your order?” Monty asked, seeming to break his daze.

“Oh, yes. It’s Bellamy. Say, does she come in here often?” he asked.

“Every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. I’ll have that drink right out for you.” Monty told him, as he slid the cup over to begin making.

Bellamy stood over at the pickup counter, thinking about how his shitty day turned around so quickly , all thanks to a kind and beautiful stranger. Maybe the city wasn’t going to be so bad.

** ____________________________ **

Clarke walked down the bustling sidewalk until she arrived at her destination. She looked up at the sign that read “Griffin and Co. Studio” and smiled. She loved coming into work and seeing all the progress she and her company had made.

When she walks in the giant double glass doors, she climbs the industrial steps up to the offices and starts dropping off the coffee orders.

Her first stop is Lincoln’s office. He is one of her main artist features and deals a lot with the client transactions. He appears to be on the phone with a client, so she drops off his soy chai latte on his desk and gives him a wink, he throws her a look of gratefulness then gets back to his call.

The office next door to his belongs to Raven. She handles all of the building and exhibit setups as well as the Maintenance. Raven is tinkering with some weird looking apparatus when Clarke walks in with her Black Coffee.

“Do I even want to know what that is?” Clarke questioned, looking at the pieces of metal and wires in confusion.

“Lincoln has a new sculpture he wants to suspend from the ceiling. I’m trying to make sure it won’t fall and crash on somebody’s head.” Raven said in a chipper tone as she made grab hands for the cup Clarke was holding.

“How noble of you. Wouldn’t want to smash in the head of some billionaire willing to buy such a contraption.” Clarke said smugly.

“You know me, always saving the day.” Raven laughed.

Clarke then ventured across the hall and saw the owner of this office lying face down on his desk snoring.

“Late Night?” Clarke asked as she put the Americano down a bit loudly by his head to stir him awake.

Roan looked up at her with a drowsy smile, “You have no idea. But this should do the trick, Thanks Griff.” he said raising the cup she gave him in the air in salute.

“Sundays are for relaxing and recovering from the rest of the weekend, Roan.” she said crossing her arms and laughing at his  unfortune .

“Have you never heard of Sunday Funday Griffin?” He asked with an arched eyebrow.

“Yeah, in College. Not when I’m trying to run a business here.” she laughs.

“That’s what I’m here for. Books, PR, Marketing, Events. All you have to do is show your pretty face and create masterpieces that write our checks darling.” 

Clarke scoffed at his description of what she “should” do. “But then, who would wake you up from your hangover and ask you a million questions throughout the day ?” she said with a wink as she exited his office to go to the last one on the hall. Hers.

She walks in to her meticulously organized office with floor to ceiling windows overlooking the front of the gallery and the busy street outside. Everything there has its place, tidy and open.

When they started remolding the industrial building 3 years ago, she was adamant about keeping everything bright and airy and full of clean lines and minimalism. It’s one of the few things she felt like she could control in her life at the time, and her therapist had suggested to focus on the things she could control.

Now, the downstairs gallery was a little more industrial, but still had that modern sleek feel. The creative space beneath the gallery where she and Lincoln along with other local artists created, was a different story. Organized Chaos she liked to think of it as. They had a large open space with different sections for each type of art they showcased, from paintings and drawings, to sculpting , glass and metal work.

She  felt more relaxed being able to create in a controlled, yet freeing space.

She sits in her office chair and sips on her own latte while looking out over the city. Today is going to be a good day she thought, she could feel it.

She’s broken out of her thought by a small rap on her door, she turns around to see her good friend Octavia come in and drop her gym bag on the ground, before claiming one of the chairs across from her desk.

“And how was your weekend, O?” Clarke asks a bit sarcastically.

“Ugh! My kickboxing tournament got rescheduled after I had gone all the way across town, then I was late picking up my brother from the airport, only to get there and see that his flight was delayed. I didn’t accomplish anything, missed girl’s brunch for nothing and had 0 alcohol all weekend.” she complained as she laid her head on Clarke's desk.

Clarke patted her head like a small child, “There, there. Adulting is hard, and not being rewarded with a drink is a crime I tell you. Let’s make up for it this weekend!” Clarke said excited.

“I have to help my Brother move his stuff to his new place. He just moved here from California to get a head start at NYU where he will be  teaching the first summer session before the fall term. What about after? Saturday night at Mirage? I could use a night out, and it will give you all a chance to meet Bell. He’s going to need friends like you guys to survive in the city. Just this morning he couldn’t stop complaining about the traffic and everyone on bicycles.” she said rolling her eyes.

“I’m open for Saturday night. Let the group know, and we can pregame at Jasper’s since he lives the closest.” Clarke laughed with a wink.

“Sounds good babe, got to get to the gym. Who else is going to keep the rich and famous housewives in shape?” Octavia laughed as she picked up her gym bag and left Clarke’s office.

She just shook her head, then opened her laptop to check in with her day’s agenda. She sees a staff meeting about their upcoming showcase in a couple of weeks is next on her list, then she sees a 10-minute time slot right before it that says “Griff’s chill out time.”

“ROAN” She shouts out down the hall. She hears him laughing, and can’t help the smile from breaking out on her face.

** ________________________ **

“Alright, we have the Summer Showcase coming up in just 3 weeks people. Times Magazine is coming to do a feature on the gallery and the new showcase, so everything needs to be perfected and set by the  Wednesday of the Showcase week, no exceptions.” Roan instructs as he drones on about the importance, last minute changes and fixes, names of the people attending the exclusive sneak-peak that Friday evening, before the public showing on Saturday.

“Each of you are granted a plus one for the exclusive showing, so choose wisely. Everyone else will have to wait until its opened to the public the following day. We want to keep this as an intimate event, make the people wanting to spend the big bucks feel special and all that jazz. If you have any questions, please see me in my office.” Roan concluded his speech.

“I just want to say thank you to everyone here. Without all of your constant hard work and loyalty, we never would have made it this far. So please come prepared to enjoy yourselves for the evening. You all deserve it.” Clarke followed. Everyone seemed to be buzzing with excitement, and with that the meeting was dismissed.

“You always have to show up at the end and one up me, don’t you?” Roan teased her as they headed back up to the offices.

“They deserve some praise, and some incentive here in the final stretch.” Clarke shrugged.

“Well look at you, maybe you haven’t totally ignored all of my business advice.” he joked.

“No, not always. I’m heading down to the studio to finish some of my pieces. Call if you need me.” Clarke said as she went into her office to grab her bag that she kept with her paint clothes to change and head down to the studio.

** __________________________________ **

Bellamy arrived at NYU to start finding his way to the History Building. He makes his way down the long halls until he finally reaches the faculty offices. The receptionist is a quiet and shy girl named Maya, and she shows him to his new office.

Bellamy looks at the empty room that has a large mahogany desk and built in bookcases on either side and smiles. He pulls back the curtains, and is pleasantly surprised to see his office overlooks a calming quad area full of large trees and a small fountain that students are using to read and soak up the beautiful sunny day.

“You must be Bellamy Blake. I’m Marcus Kane, Dean of History. It’s nice to meet you, and I'm so glad you could come before the first summer term.” The man says, sticking out his hand in greeting.

“Oh, yessir. It’s nice to meet you Doctor Kane. I’m excited to be here.” Bellamy says, shaking the older man’s hand.

“We were excited to have your application come across our path. To find young people that are as accomplished as yourself, and be so excited about teaching the next generation history is very hard to come by, I assure you. The students seem to have a harder time concentrating on the material when an old dog like myself is up there droning on and on about the importance of the history of civilization and its importance in our present day and future.” Kane explained.

“Well thank you sir. I can’t promise they will enjoy listening to me any more than you, but I will give it my best shot. I try to keep them engaged as much as possible, since I know not everyone shares my passion for historical facts.” Bellamy laughed, thinking about how Octavia would literally fall asleep listening to him go on and on when she was in school.

“That’s true. Well, we will be starting you off with the introductory course for the summer term, so hopefully by the full fall term you can be settled in and ready to take on larger classes. I spoke to your past Dean at Berkeley. He had nothing but excellent reviews, and a bit of jealously about you leaving and joining us here.” Kane laughed.

“Yes,  Dr. Pike was the first person I ever TA’ed for in grad school. He was not too happy about me leaving, but understood that it was better for me to be here. My sister and I have lived on opposite sides of the country for too long, and I was ready to give New York a shot.” Bellamy informed him.

“Well, we are happy to have you. Please let me know if you have any questions. My door is always open.” with that, Kane left Bellamy  to  unpack and settle into his new office.

He looked back out of his window at the students milling about in between classes and smiled. This was the fresh start he needed.

** _____________________________ **

Clarke was standing in front of 3 large canvases with her eyebrows scrunched. She couldn’t figure out what was missing from her pieces. They were 3 separate canvases, that worked on their own, but also tied together to tell a continuing story when placed side by side.

Lincoln walked into the studio ready to work and stood next to her, looking at the paintings just like she was, “What are we looking for?” he asked her.

“I don’t know. It feels like something is missing, but I can’t put my finger on it.” she tells him.

“Maybe it’s not missing anything then. Maybe it’s the perfectionist in you trying to tinker with something that is already perfect.” he offers her.

“Maybe, but it just feels unfinished and I can’t look at it anymore. The studio is all yours, I can’t concentrate when I'm stumped.” she said as she picks up her brushes and heads towards the sink to clean them for the day.

Once she had changed and made it back onto the main floor, she takes one last look at her Spring pieces before they are taken down and shipped off to their new owners.

One is a large field of yellow and orange flowers with a small figure bending on their knees with a silver container in their hands and butterflies flying out of it into the sky and a lake with the reflection of them below. She smiled proudly and a bit sad at the large painting hanging in front of her. She remembers when she got the idea to paint this one. It was right around the anniversary of her childhood best friend, Wells’, birthday.

Her and Wells grew up together in DC, where both of their Fathers were in Politics. They lived in the same neighborhood, went to the same school from K-12 and then they went their separate ways for College. During a re-election year, Wells was killed by a drunk driver on his way home from a late campaign dinner right before the start of his Senior Year at Yale. The memory still hurts Clarke like it was just yesterday, even though it had been almost 4 years since the accident.

She shakes off the tears threatening to build, and moves over to the next one. It shows a beautiful Spring day in Central Park, the trees and flowers beginning to bloom as a Father and Child make their way down the sidewalk hand in hand.

A tear does fall this time. This one is inspired by her Father. He used to always take Clarke to Central Park and buy her an ice cream cone when they would visit the city on his business trips. He was a Head Engineer for Homeland Security. He was killed while overseas during a riot that had explosives set off during a meeting with some of that country’s leaders inside. That was almost 2 years ago, and she’s not sure that pain will ever dull with time.

As she wipes her tears away, she comes to her final piece. It’s the Cherry Blossoms in full bloom in DC, something she remembers being her favorite thing about the Capital City. There in the midst of the beautiful pink archways, is a small figure bending over to pick up some of the petals off of the ground. Her Mother. She remembers her Mom that still resides in DC as the Head of Cardio at Georgetown Hospital. Clarke tried to urge Abby to move out of DC after her Father died, but Abby wanted to stay in the city and continue her work, while picking up the pieces of her broken heart left after her husband’s death.

Clarke makes a point to visit Abby and have her  come to New York to visit once a month. It’s a good routine for the both of them.

Clarke looked down at her phone to check the time , 4pm, time to pack up for the day and head over to see Indra.

Indra was Clarke's therapist. She started seeing Indra twice a week right after her father’s death. Her mother and friends strongly encouraged Clarke to seek someone out to talk to after the trauma she had endured in such a short time span.

She found out that her boyfriend of almost a year was cheating on her, or rather cheating with her during her junior year at NYU, when his amazing girlfriend surprised him for a visit from MIT. Finn was a Dick, but luckily, she found an amazing friend in Raven in a very unorthodox way. A few months later, she lost Wells. Then she threw herself into a relationship with Lexa, which she knew was unhealthy, but she just needed to not feel alone anymore.

All the warning signs were there with Lexa. Possessive, controlling, talked about her Ex non-stop, isolated Clarke from her friends in the name of “Wanting to spend more time together, and her friends not really liking her.”. It should have come as no surprise to Clarke when Lexa dumped her right before Graduation Day and moved to Europe with previous said Ex.

Then, Clarke lost her Father. Her best friend since she was born. She couldn’t remember a single memory in her first 24 years of life, that her dad wasn’t present for. Every recital, play, art show, high school graduation, senior showcase and college graduation. He even helped her scope out locations for Griffin and Co. Studio before he passed.

Clarke was very much against going to therapy, until one day she just felt that she couldn’t deal on her own anymore. The world felt so heavy on her shoulders, the grief, the heart break and the unhealthy coping mechanisms she found herself gravitating towards. That’s when her mother recommended a friend from College that was a therapist in the NYC area.

Indra was the definition of tough love, which Clarke looks back on and is grateful for, because in the beginning she fought the help. Indra would deadpan stare at Clarke and tell her, “I get paid whether you talk or not, so why not at least get your monies worth if you’re going to occupy my couch?”

Indra helped Clarke learn about the things she could and could not control. She couldn’t control what happened to her father or Wells, but she could make sure that she took care of herself, and found ways to remember and honor their life

She couldn’t control how other people treated her, but she could control how she treated herself and how she treated others. Cutting people out or not letting them too close, if she didn’t feel that they had her best interest in mind.

She was a huge part of Clarke continuing to go forward with opening the studio and joining a kickboxing class to release her stress and frustrations, in both her art and in beating the hell out of a bag.

She helped Clarke ween herself off of the anti-depressants and other prescribed medications that a previous doctor had prescribed her for anxiety that Clarke found herself getting addicted to, and found other ways to learn to deal with the black cloud that would sometimes hang around her. And honestly, that saved Clarke's life. She never got to the point of addiction, but she knew how to make herself not have to feel when she didn’t want to, and there were a few times that that knowledge became a slippery slope.

She thinks of Indra likes a second Mother. Her New York Mother she refers to her as. Indra knew her parents in college, so it was also nice to talk to someone who knew her family and the extent that her losses were having on her.

She walked up to her office and grabbed her purse, then headed out of the gallery and down the few blocks to Indra’s office


	2. By chance or by Fate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellamy takes his chance on his Coffee Crush, and Clarke gets a surprise when she offers to help a friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday Friends!  
> Updates will be Friday Evenings/Saturday Mornings depending on where you are in the world!  
> Thank you for reading and for the feedback, it definitely makes continuing writing worth it to know there are people out there wanting to read your words!  
> I am trying to do longer but less chapters to reward you all for waiting a whole week between each chapter, so these are basically 2 chapters that I make into 1 each week.
> 
> Enjoy and let me know what you think of the story and characters!

As soon as Clarke entered Indra’s office, she was waved towards the door to enter by the receptionist. She knocked lightly, then opened the door when she heard Indra call for her to come in.

“Good afternoon Clarke. How was your weekend?” Indra inquired.

“It was good. I didn’t worry about work at all, never stopped by the gallery, and actually made plans to get out to the beach house coming up now that the weather is getting warmer. I called a cleaning crew to head to the house this week to get it ready.” Clarke said with a smile on her face, feeling accomplished.

“That’s really good news. I’m so glad you decided to go out there. I’m sure that will be a much - needed relaxing time. Are you going alone?”

“I don’t think I’m ready to tackle that on my own just yet. I will be inviting the usual crew.” she explained.

“And your mother? What does she think of this?” Indra asked.

“She is really happy that it will be getting some use, but she isn’t ready to go back out there yet.” Clarke said a little sad.

“That’s okay Clarke. Not everyone heals at the same pace. It’s a great thing that you are ready to go back out there. That’s a big deal, and I am proud of the steps you have made. When we first met, you wouldn’t talk to me at all, we stared at each other sometimes for the full hour twice every week. Now? You are running a very successful gallery, enjoying your friends, and now going out to your childhood vacation home. I’m really happy for you.” Indra told her earnestly.

“This wouldn’t have been possible without you. I know we only meet once  every other week now, but I want you to know that I will never take our time for granted again. And, I have two passes for the upcoming Summer Showcase for you.” Clarke said with a smile, and reached into her bag for the tickets.

Indra took them and placed them on her desk.” Thank you, Clarke. I’m excited to see the new pieces everyone has been working on. So, do you have a plus one you are bringing?” Indra asked with a mischievous smirk.

“Are you asking as my therapist, or my friend if I have a date?” Clarke mirrored her smirk.

“Both. You decide. One we can talk about outside of the office, and one is kept confidential.” Indra said with a wink.

“Well, I haven’t been into the dating scene in a while, and normally I would give it to my mom, but she is going to be in Florida for a conference, so she will see the gallery after it’s opened. So, my official answer right now is TBD.” Clarke laughed.

“Well, what do you have planned for the rest of this week?” Indra asked. 

Clarke knew that this was her subtle way of asking about her routines. Routines were something that Clarke and Indra both worked on for her. Structure and having things to look forward to kept Clarke from having too much idle time, which would be when the dark feelings and thoughts would seem to creep up.

“I need to finish up my pieces for the showcase this week, then I have the usual kickboxing with Octavia, and then hanging out with the group on Saturday. Octavia said her brother just moved to the city, and he is going to come out with us. So, it will be nice to get some fresh blood into the group.” Clarke joked.

Indra’s eyebrows raised, just slightly but Clarke caught it. “Yes, I do remember Octavia mentioning her brother moving to the city. That’s nice.”

Clarke raised and inquiring eye brow at Indra, “What are you not telling me Indra?”

“Uh, uh. Doctor Patient confidentiality.” Indra said simply.

Octavia used to see Indra during college, when she had too much aggression and not enough healthy outlets. It’s how Clarke and Octavia met. Indra recommended Clarke to the same kickboxing classes that she recommended Octavia to. They got partnered up on Clarke’s first day, and the rest as they say, is history. Octavia met Indra’s nephew Lincoln, and then Octavia introduced Clarke to Lincoln, and they ended up becoming business partners, and friends. Man, she really did owe a lot to Indra.

“Fine, I’ll let it go. For now.” Clarke said as she went to stand up.

“I will see you  in two weeks.” Indra said, as she smiled and waved at Clarke.

_______________________________________

Bellamy had left his office after unpacking the first few boxes that he had delivered there. He headed back to his sister’s place, where he was staying until his stuff from California was delivered that weekend. He did not like the idea of having to sleep in a cold empty apartment with no bed, or kitchen appliances for essentials like cooking and coffee. 

Coffee, that got him thinking about the nice stranger from the coffee shop that morning. As he rode the subway to get to Octavia’s (Or he hoped that’s where he was headed, he hadn’t had much time to get acquainted with the city transport just yet.) he kept thinking about her. Blonde hair, blue eyes, a kind and welcoming smile, and the coffee was pretty good. 

He wondered if it would be weird to show up when the barista told him she usually came in. Monday, Wednesday and Friday he told him. Maybe he can repay the favor to her, maybe even get her name. Bellamy got off at his stop, and was relieved that he had found his way back to Octavia’s place.

He hit the buzzer, and the door opened up for him. He had to admit, he was really proud of his baby sister and all she had accomplished out there on her own. She was one of the most highly recommend trainers on the upper east side, she was dating an awesome guy in Lincoln, she was working on herself after many years of denial and hurt, and she did it all without him. He would be sad if he wasn’t so damn proud of her. She was no longer a little girl that needed him, but an adult that wanted him around.

Just as Bellamy got to the front door of their apartment, he smelled something amazing. And just as he thought when he opened the door, he saw Octavia setting the table and Lincoln in the kitchen cooking.

“Hey Bell! Glad you found your way back and we didn’t have to go out and try and find you. How was your first day?” Octavia asked.

“It was good. I got to meet the Dean and unpack the first few boxes. I have a pretty killer view too, which is nice.” Bellamy smiled.

“Well, congratulations man! Now, let’s eat!” Lincoln said as he set the lasagna on the table.

Bellamy was staying in Octavia and Lincoln’s guest room, and he was just changing and getting settled into bed when a soft knock came at the door.

Octavia poked her head in, “Hey, you got a second?”

“Sure, O. What’s up.”

Octavia went in and sat at the foot of the bed, “Our friends are going out on Saturday, and I wanted to see if you wanted to come too. Give you a chance to meet everyone.”

“Saturday after moving?” He asked.

“Yes, we aren’t ditching you. If you want, I can enlist some more help too.” Octavia smiled.

“If you think you can enlist your friends to help a total stranger move on a Saturday, by all means.” he laughed.

“You’re not a total stranger, you’re my brother! Although, you are a little  strange.” she laughed and dodged his foot he went to kick her with.

“Funny. I’ll provide Pizza and Beer for anyone that wants to help.” He told her.

“Trust me, with my friends? That’s more than enough incentive. Night Bell.” she called over her shoulder.

“Good night O.”

__________________________________________

Clarke continued with her week as she did any week. Octavia had sent a group text that anyone that was willing to help her brother move on Saturday had free Beer and Pizza in their future. Of course, most everyone would agree if it weren't for work, but her and Jasper decided to join the moving crew.

Friday came all too quickly, and Clarke found herself walking into Common Grounds for her staff's coffee order for the morning, when she spotted him sitting at a table near the pickup counter, engrossed in whatever book  he was reading. She busied herself, checking emails on her phone while she waited in line.

When she got to the counter, it was Harper smiling back at her , ”And, how are you on this lovely Friday?” she inquired.

“I’m great Harp. Did someone get an extra shot in their coffee this morning?” Clarke laughed at her friend.

“Maybe, but that’s not what makes this such a LOVELY day.” Harper emphasized.

“Okay, you’re being weird this morning. What’s my total for this week’s orders?” she inquired. She always paid for their weekly orders on Friday’s for the whole week.

Harper told her the total, and Clark gave her a weird look, “That’s not usually what we pay. Am I getting a new discount I wasn’t aware of?” she joked.

“Nope. That guy over there,” she said pointing over to where Bellamy was sitting, “asked to put your coffee on his bill. So, your coffee’s, specifically your 3 lattes this week, were on him instead of your tab.” Harper said with a giddy smile.

“Wow, you buy a guy one coffee and he buy’s you three in return? Smart and good looking.” Clarke laughed as Harper had  her sign the receipt.

“Well, go get him girl! Pretty sure he’s been sitting there waiting for you, you know, in a non-creepy way.” she clarified and shooed Clarke towards Bellamy.

Clarke approached his table, and pull out the chair across from him, “Thank you for the coffee’s. It’s not every day you get a 3 for 1 deal.” she smiled. “I’m Clarke.” she said, sticking her hand out to him.

“Well, Clarke it was my pleasure. Bellamy.” he said taking her hand and putting his book on the table.

“So, forgive me for overhearing the other day, but did you say you were new to the city?” she asked hesitantly.

“I am. I just moved here about a week ago. It was a rough few days, but I hope I'm getting the hang of it. Got any tips?” he asked her with a smile that was making her melt on the spot.

“Well, you found the best café around, so you are already off to a good start. Pizza and Asian cuisine are a major staple and are always open. Walk with the flow of sidewalk traffic or you’re sure to get run over and yelled at. Depending on where you need to go, memorize the subway schedules, bike or walk. Driving or getting a cab is a literal nightmare at any point of the day. And if you’re into art or academia, you are right in the heart of it here. There is always plenty to do.” she shrugged after listing off her major points.

“Well, that’s incredibly useful information. I appreciate the help Clarke.” Bellamy told her genuinely.

“And, Mirage is a pretty cool bar. There are a lot of uppity fancy bars, and a lot of really loud clubs, but Mirage is pretty great. It’s not much of a college crowd, or the annoying stock broker types either. It’s a happy medium. Some friends and I are actually going out there tomorrow if you wanted to join us.” she extended the invitation.

“I would love to, but I actually already have plans for tomorrow. Maybe another time?” he asked hopeful.

Clarke felt a little relieved that it didn’t seem like a blow off, “Sure. You know where to find me most mornings. It was nice to meet you Bellamy.” she said as she stood to head to the studio for the day.

“The pleasure was mine, Clarke. Same time Monday?” he joked.

“Sounds great. Have a good weekend.” she said as she smiled and headed out of the café.

___________________________________________________________

Later that afternoon, Clarke and Octavia were at Kickboxing Class. While on a break between rotations, Clarke couldn’t stop smiling.

“What’s up with you today?” Octavia said jokingly.

“Nothing. It’s Friday, who wouldn’t be happy?” Clarke answered, almost repeating Harper’s words from earlier that morning.

“Uh huh. Well, you’re still planning on coming to help us move my brother in the morning, right?” Octavia inquired.

“Of course. Harper is making muffins for us since they can’t be there to help, so I’m going to stop at the café on the way there. Does your brother have a specific drink he likes in the morning?” Clarke asked.

“I’m sure just a Carafe of Coffee with some cream and sugar will be loved by everyone. Thanks for getting that.”

“No problem, no one should have to move on an empty stomach, or without caffeine.” Clarke laughed.

“You know, you’re going to make someone a very happy significant other one day.” Octavia winked.

“Yeah, because that has worked out so well in the past.” Clarke rolled her eyes.

“Finn was a tool, and Lexa was just, well...” Octavia trailed off, not knowing how to finish her thought.

“Controlling, Toxic, Self-Centered?” Clarke supplied.

“You said it, not me.” Octavia said with her hands raised in surrender.

“Indra says that the best way to move on from a failed relationship, is to acknowledge the reasons that it ended, and not try to justify the toxic behaviors because of the feelings we used to have.” Clarke stated simply.

“Damn, you sure you aren’t secretly a therapist yourself?” Octavia joked

“Definitely not. Speaking of Indra though, she had an interesting reaction to me mentioning that some of my plans this weekend involved meeting your brother.”

Octavia took a longer than necessary drink from her water bottle, “Really? Interesting.”

“O, what are you not telling me?” Clarke pressed.

“Nothing, nothing. Okay, I may have mentioned to Indra in passing at lunch last week with Lincoln, that I thought you and Bell would make a complimentary couple.” Octavia said with a hint of hesitancy.

“Octavia! I have never even met your brother, and I don’t know anything about him except the random facts you have mentioned over the last 2 years. Wait, does he know about this? Is this some kind of setup?” Clarke asked in a panicked voice.

“No, calm down. I haven’t mentioned you to him at all except in passing conversations about our friends. This is not a set up, but Clarke you are one of my best friends and I know my brother. I just thought that you two would get along, and I hope that is the case, but please don’t feel weird or pressured.” Octavia said calmly.

“Okay, as long as this isn’t some weird blind date.” Clarke laughed as her an Octavia finished their break and headed back to the gym floor.

______________________________________

Clarke’s alarm rang out at 7am. She groaned at her over eager self the night before for setting such an early alarm on a Saturday. Then she remembered that she was helping Octavia’s brother move today with the gang, and volunteered to pick up coffee and muffins from Monty and Harper’s before heading over.

She threw her hair up into a messy bun, put on her yoga capris and a tank top and grabbed a pair of running shoes along with a light zip up for the morning chill. After giving herself a once over in the mirror, she wondered if this was how she wanted to look before meeting O’s brother for the first time. 

“Stop it Clarke, nothing is going to happen with Octavia’s brother.” she reminded herself, and then reasoned that they would be moving all day, so she was appropriately  dressed. Then she headed out to get to the café.

Clarke put in the address that Octavia had texted her that morning, and headed towards the apartment building on the south east side of NYU in a beautiful neighborhood. As she approached, she saw Octavia and Jasper sitting on a couch on the sidewalk next to a moving truck.

“Good Morning, I have coffee and Breakfast!” Clarke announced.

“You’re a goddess!” Jasper shouted as he got up to grab the bag of muffins from Clarke.

“He’s not wrong. Come with me upstairs so we can get the coffee set up in the kitchen.” Octavia said as she hooked her arm with Clarke's and led her up to the 12 th floor apartment.

Once they walked in, there were a few boxes stacked up in the open living area, and a beautiful kitchen to the left where Octavia was setting up the coffee. Clarke walked towards the big open window that had a beautiful view and smiled. She could definitely see the draw to this building. With a view like this, she could paint for hours and never grow tired of it.

Octavia appeared next to her then, “Pretty amazing, huh?”

“I’ll say. This view is breathtaking.” Clarke replied.

“Yeah, I'm kind of jealous myself, but if anyone deserves the best, it’s definitely my brother. He has worked his ass off for the last 10 years to get to where he is. You could say I'm pretty proud of him.” Octavia stated.

Just then the door opened, breaking their attention from the view before them. Jasper came waltzing in with a box, and the muffin bag sitting atop of the box, and then someone with dark curls and his back facing the girls carrying one end of the couch and Lincoln on the other side.

“Thanks for carrying the lightest box Jasper.” Lincoln huffed as they went to set the couch down.

“How was I supposed to know that?” Jasper asked innocently.

“The word “Pillows” written on the side of the box would’ve been your first clue.” The dark - haired stranger said.

“Bell, this is one of our other friends, Clarke. She brought Coffee and whatever Muffins Jasper hasn’t eaten yet.” Octavia introduced.

Just then, the man turned around and his eyes went wide, “Clarke?!” he asked a little confused and surprised.

“Bellamy ? I should’ve put together that Bell was short for Bellamy.” Clarke laughed as she reached out her hand to him.

“Sorry, when Octavia talked about her friend Clarke, I thought it could be a guy or a girl.” he smiled as he took her hand.

“You two know each other?” Lincoln asked confused.

“We met and Common  Grounds earlier this week, or I guess we technically met yesterday.” Clarke laughed.

“So that explains your mood yesterday.” Octavia said under her breath, just as Clarke elbowed her.

Bellamy’s eyes lit up in understanding and laughed, “Well, thanks for volunteering to help out and for bringing breakfast.”

“No problem. So, coffee break, then finish unloading the truck?” Clarke offered.

“Sounds good, I could use a break.” Jasper said as he sat on the couch with a cup of coffee and the rest of his muffin.

Everyone rolled their eyes at him and laughed, while making their way to the kitchen to make their own cup of coffee.

“So, Clarke, how did you and my sister meet?” Bellamy asked while they were sitting around enjoying their breakfast break.

“I told you Bell, we met through Indra and Kickboxing, then her and Lincoln opened up the Gallery together.” Octavia stated, as if she had already told him this story many times before.

“Sorry, I didn’t remember everyone's connections to you , O.” Bellamy playfully shot back.

“Or, you just don’t listen.” Octavia said with a mischievous smirk.

“Sure, that’s it.” Bellamy rolled his eyes.

“I can definitely see the family resemblance now.” Clarke laughed, along with Lincoln and Jasper.

Both Blake's turned towards Clarke with a look of disbelief, “And to think I consider you one of my best friends!” Octavia shouts with mock offense.

“Try spending a whole week with the two of them. I almost called Bellamy Octavia a few times.” Lincoln chuckled.

“And to think I liked you.” Bellamy said to Lincoln.

After everyone finished their coffees, they headed back down to the moving truck to continue unloading. Clarke and Octavia were helping take up boxes, and put them in the rooms they were labeled for, while the guys unloaded the furniture and other heavy items, like the many boxes of books Bellamy had.

Once the truck was completely unloaded, the girls started unpacking the boxes while the guys rebuilt some of the furniture and hooked up the electronics.

Octavia was putting things away in the kitchen, as Clarke started unpacking a few boxes marked “Books” when Bellamy took a seat on the floor next to her.

“Thanks for all of your help today, you really don’t have to unpack these though.” he told her.

“This is part of helping you move. Unless, you have a weird thing about people unpacking your books.” Clarke laughed.

“Not at all. How should we sort them?” he asked.

“Do you prefer alphabetically or by genre?”

“How about both? By genre, then alphabetically within each genre.” he suggested.

“Smart. I’ll get to work on that. Now, I remember promises of Pizza?” Clarke smiled up at him.

“It’s already on the way. Jasper couldn’t quit talking about how famished he was.” Bellamy laughed.

“Moving is hard work.” she reasoned.

“I’ve been tasked with unpacking my clothes, so holler if you need anything.” he tells her, as he walks towards his bedroom.

“Look at you, flirting  with a cute boy  over  books.” Jasper teases as he sits down to unpack the movies and games next to Clarke.

“That was not flirting Jas.”

“How would you know?” Jasper challenged her.

“Seriously? It hasn’t been that long Jasper.” she rolled her eyes.

“You haven’t been out with anyone since Cassandra, and that’s been what? 2 years? C’mon Clarke, it’s okay to be a little rusty.” he nudged her and winked.

“LEXA,” she corrected, “may have been my last relationship, but it doesn’t mean I haven’t had some fun since then.”

“Oh, trust me when I say we have all been witness to drunk Clarke and her failed attempts. It’s a good thing that you’re pretty though.” Jasper joked as he dodged a book being tossed at his head, “Hey! That could’ve killed me!”

“Clarke, no killing Jasper, or we will have no place to pregame tonight.” Octavia called out from the kitchen.

“Good to know that’s all I'm good for around here.” Jasper said with a huff.

After lunch, Jasper left to get a nap in before going out that night. Octavia and Lincoln started packing up the empty boxes to take down to the dumpster, “Bell, you’re still coming out tonight right?” Octavia asked before heading out the door.

“That’s the plan. I have the essentials unpacked, so I should be good to go. Thanks for all of your help, and letting me stay this past week.” He said as he gave his little sister a hug and high  fived Lincoln.

After he shut the front door, Bellamy turned around to take a look at all of the progress made. He was looking over the meticulously organized bookshelf that Clarke had unpacked, when he noticed a that a certain blonde was missing. Surely, she didn’t slip out without saying goodbye.

Just then, he heard the faucet come on in the bathroom and smiled in relief that she hadn’t left just yet.

“Hey O, I was thinking of wearing that blue top tonight, but I'm not sure what to wear with it...” she stops short, looking around to not find anyone but herself and Bellamy.

“Octavia and Lincoln headed out just a minute ago. Sorry, not sure if I could be of much help with the fashion advice.” Bellamy laughed.

“No worries. I guess I should be headed out too then. You are still coming to Mirage tonight, right?” Clarke asked hopeful.

“I think I will. You can’t meet people sitting at home all night alone, now can you?” he joked.

“I wish! Well, I will leave you to your new place to get settled, and I will see you tonight.” she said, heading for the door.

“Hey Clarke,” Bellamy called after her, “Thanks again for coming to help today. I’m glad to know that our paths were meant to cross, one way or another.” and with that, he ducked into his bedroom to finish unpacking.

Clarke smiled at him, then once she got down to the street, she let out a breath that she didn’t even know she was holding, then headed back home to get a shower before that night.


	3. Drunk on something stronger than the drinks at the bar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bellarke and Friends head to the Bar for a much needed break.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday Friends!  
> Thank you for all the feedback. This is a long fic, but not to worry, the story starts picking up from here on out. I'm so excited for this and the upcoming chapters.
> 
> Buckle up, cause flirty and drunk Clarke is one of my Favs!

By the time Clarke finally decided on an outfit, put on her makeup and curled her hair into loose waves, she was the last to show up at Jasper's. 

When she opened the door, she was hit with the loud music playing through the speakers and the smell of everyone's perfume and cologne mixing together. She spots her friend and Jasper's roommate Nathan Miller, who nods and tips his beer bottle to her as he returns to the conversation with Monty and Lincoln.

As she made her way into the Kitchen, she found Octavia, Harper and Jasper mixing drinks. “ Clarkey ! Here.” Jasper shouts as he shoves a cup into her hand.

She looked at the green concoction in the cup, and just tilted it up to her lips and threw it back. She learned long ago to not even ask what Jasper was mixing up, but this time she didn’t mind, “This tastes like Candy! I kinda love it.” she says smiling back at the group.

“I see fun Clarke came out to play tonight.” Octavia said with a smirk as she eyes Clarke's outfit. Tight black jeans that could be painted on, a low-cut skinny strap royal blue top and black booties.

“Whatever, I didn’t have any help dressing myself tonight, so you’re lucky I didn’t show up in pajamas.” Clarke joked, as Jasper handed her another drink, this one tasted like cherries. 

“With an outfit like that, you won’t need pajamas later either.” Harper laughed as Clarke’s eyes went wide at her insinuation.

“Oh no, no, no way you guys. I’m here to have fun with my friends, and that’s it!” Clarke insisted.

“Then you might want to slow down on Jasper's Jolly Rancher Martinis babe, or we are going to need help just getting you to the bar.” Octavia warned her lightly.

“I’m fine, I swear. So, where is everybody else?” Clarke asked, trying to not ask where a specific dark-haired new addition was.

“Raven said she would meet us up at Mirage a little later tonight. Murphy and Emori will be there too.” Harper informed her.

“Bellamy should be here any minute, that is if he didn’t fall asleep and forget, or get lost.” Octavia giggled into her cup. Clarke wondered how many Candy Martinis SHE had already.

Just when Clarke was about to ask, she heard the front door open and a rounding chorus of Hey’s and Welcome’s.

Sure enough, when she peaked back into the living room, she saw the man she was just inquiring about. Bellamy looked up just then, catching her eye and smiling in a friendly manner, then he looked down from her face and she could’ve sworn that she saw a different, more intriguing look take over his face, but that could be the Martinis.

They all headed over to Mirage after another round, or maybe 2? Clarke couldn’t remember as she was currently on cloud nine. She was getting a piggyback ride from Miller right up until they were about to walk into the bar. Once inside, she spotted Murphy and Emori in their large circle booth near the back of the bar between the dance floor and pool tables.

She ran towards them before everyone else had a chance to catch up to her and slid in next to Emori, laying her head on the other girl’s shoulder, “I’ve missed you! Why are you always so busy?” she asked sadly.

“I’ve been up to my ears in updates. I’ve started to consider becoming a hacker instead of an app developer, just so I can work whenever I want to though.” Emori joked as she patted Clarke’s head.

“I’m down with that. I always told you that you were too good for the corporate world.” Murphy chimed in.

Clarke looked over at one of her longest living friends. Her and Murphy grew up in the same area of DC, their fathers worked in the same department, so they got to be dragged to some of the same functions together. They attended high school together, until their Junior year when his parents split and he moved with his mom to New York. The political life was never for John Murphy, and he absolutely hated playing by anyone’s rules but his own.

Shortly after he turned 18, he enrolled in Culinary School, and his mom met some new guy and moved down south. He and Emori were a perfect match. They met when he was catering one of her company events and she insisted on asking who the genius was behind the chicken dish being served, and let’s just say that his ego has not deflated since.

“You are always down for something that rides that line of legal and illegal, always have.” Clarke says back to him playfully.

“And how many drinks did we pregame with tonight?” Murphy laughed at his friend's current state.

“Jasper made these candy drinks. You don’t feel them, until you try to walk.” Clarke giggled as the rest of the group joined the table.

“Murphy, Emori, this is my brother Bellamy. Bell, this is Murphy and Emori.” Octavia introduced as everyone found their seat.

They exchanged pleasantries and caught up with each other since their last gathering a few weeks ago. Once Raven arrived, she climbed over Monty and Jasper to squish beside Clarke and Emori, “Hi, sorry I'm late, what did I miss?” she asked.

“Nothing, we were just catching up and meeting Bellamy here. Where have you been?” Emori inquired.

“Roan needed help with something.” Raven answered very vaguely.

“I’m sure he did.” Jasper said under his breath as he caught Raven’s elbow into his ribs.

“ANYWAYS,“ Raven said very intentional, “It’s nice to meet you Bellamy. Welcome to the city.”

“Thanks. Anyone up for a round?” He offered.

People started shouting out random things, before Octavia said a few pitchers of beer would be best after what they had already had. Clarke stood up in the booth to hope out after offering to help.

“Are you sure that you should try to carry glasses in your state?” Bellamy Joked.

“Oh, I’m fine. Promise.” she smiled up at him.

After placing the order for their drinks, Bellamy leaned against the bar looking at Clarke with the same look he gave her at the guys apartment before.

“See something you like there, Blake?” Clarke asked while giggling. Okay, maybe she had had a few too many if she was already in the giggling stage.

“I’m just a little surprised is all.” Bellamy said with a smile.

“Surprised?”

“Yeah, the way Octavia described you, you sounded like a perfectionist, workaholic, played it safe and by the rules type. Sorry if that came off  judgy .” he said a little bashful after.

Clarke couldn’t help the loud laugh that came out, “Sorry, but you’re not far off. I am exactly those things, but I do try to give myself a little bit of a break on occasion. I’m usually the mom of the group, making sure everyone gets home safe and isn’t sick or anything. But, every now and then, I give myself the night off and I try to thoroughly enjoy it.” she explained.

“Well, it seems that I picked the right night to come out then.” he told her

“It would seem so.” Clarke said as the bar tender set a stack of glasses and 3 pitchers of beer on a tray.

__________________________________________________

The night continued with laughs, drinks, a few people getting up to play pool and utilize the dance floor. Pretty soon it was just Clarke leaning her head back against the booth, eyes closed and a huge smile on her face, and Bellamy and Miller talking about some sports thing that she wasn’t coherent enough to follow.

“Clarke, are you ready to head home?” Nathan called over to her from across the table.

“A bed sounds nice.” she hums.

She thinks she heard Miller say something, then she felt a hand on her shoulder, “Hey there sleeping beauty, you want to finish this nap of yours at home?” Bellamy asked her.

“I guess it’s better than sleeping in a bar. Let me just grab my phone and call a car.” she told him as she tried to open her clutch to get out her phone.

“I already called one. Miller is going to make sure everyone else gets home okay. I’ll walk you out.” Bellamy said as he stuck out his hand to her. She took his hand as he tried to steady her by her waist once she started to sway.

On their way out, they passed the group by the pool tables. She gave all the girls a hug and they all promised to update the group chat once they each got home safely.

Once she and Bellamy reached the sidewalk outside, he still hadn’t let go of her hand, “So, where should I tell your carriage to drop you off?” he joked.

“I rent a place on Cornelia Street.” she told him casually.

“That’s not too far from where I work.” he told her.

“Oh yes, the distinguished Professor of History at NYU. Very impressive.” Clarke told him.

“That has yet to be seen, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.” he laughed.

“I can imagine that my history grade would’ve been much improved if I had a teacher that looked like you.” she said bluntly. Okay, no more candy drinks from Jasper.

Bellamy barked out a laugh and looked at her surprised, “So I'm told. I think that’s the only reason they hired me come to think of it.” he joked.

“Smart business move.” Clarke shrugged. Oh well, it was out there now.

He just smiled at her as they saw headlights approaching. “You know, your place isn’t too far from where I am. Want to share the car?” she suggested.

Bellamy looked at her, like he was having some internal fight that she wasn’t aware of, “Sure. Got to make sure you get home safely after all.”

“My hero.” she said all dreamy as the car came to a stop in front of them, and he opened the door for Clarke to slide in.

Once Clarke gave the driver her address, she turned to Bellamy, “So, when do classes start for you?”

“A week from Monday, and it goes until the Friday before the 4 th .”

“You nervous?” she asked.

“Not exactly. I’ve been teaching for a few years now. It’s just a new place, I’m sure it’ll give me a chance to settle in before the full fall term.” he explained.

“Well, we are planning a beach trip to the Hampton’s for Memorial Day weekend. If you aren’t too busy with grading or something, you should come. There is plenty of room.” Clarke suggested.

“Wow, you’ve barely known me a day and I'm already invited to vacation with you guys?” he joked.

“Well, you’re Octavia’s brother. I’m sure if you were a crazy person, she would’ve warned us. Plus, it will give us a chance to get to know you better.” she smiled at him. Man, was she always going to smile at him like that? He didn’t know how much longer he could take it.

He coughed a little and cleared his throat, “Well, there’s not much to know. I’m sure you’ve gotten the gist from O. Dad was never in the picture, Mom was in a Car Accident a few months after O moved here for school. I was finishing my Senior Year at Berkeley and then stayed to get my master’s, became a TA, then was offered a  fulltime position with the university. I moved out here once there was an opening for me at NYU to be close to Octavia, and I really thought I would enjoy the city. So far, so good.” he explained with a smile.

Clarke was trying to process all of this information in her very fuzzy brain. Sure, she had heard most of this from Octavia, but there was so much more she wanted to know about Bellamy. Sure, he was attractive, but there was so much more there that she wanted to know. What his favorite food was, hobby’s, pet peeves, speaking of pets, did he ever have any? Then something ran through her mind and out of her mouth before she could stop it.

“I didn’t hear you mention a significant other in all of those highlights.” she blurted out. Great Clarke, maybe you can blame the alcohol later.

Bellamy looked at her with a mixture of shock and awe, “Well, there isn’t one currently if that’s what you’re getting at.”

“Hey, I just wanted to know just in case, because I’ve been in that messy situation before, granted I didn’t know I was in that situation at the time, but it’s best to get that info up front.” she explained.

“Clarke Griffin, are you hitting on me?” He asking with a teasing tone and twinkle in his eye.

“I can neither confirm or deny this, because alcohol makes everything feel nice and happy.” she said wistfully.

“Well Princess, I think this is your stop.” he told her as the car came to a stop in front of her building.

“This is me. Well, thanks for coming out tonight Bellamy. It was fun.” Clarke opened the car door, just as she was about to open the door to the lobby, she heard someone call out after her.

“Breakfast on me tomorrow?” Bellamy asked from the window of the car.

Clarke turned around to face him with a small smile, “See you tomorrow then.”

She made it all the way up to her apartment before she let the split face grin take over as she squealed in excitement.


	4. It's a new soundtrack I could dance to this beat forevermore

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke shows Bellamy her version of New York.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday, or Saturday where I am. Which means it’s officially the 2nd of May. So it’s time to wish a MASSIVE HAPPY BIRTHDAY to my beta, idea bouncer-offer and friend @lspringer91 !!!
> 
> This one is for you, girl! I made this one 2 chapters worth long, and it includes a small scene from one of your favorite movies! Enjoy everyone, and go show her some love on her birthday! 🎉

The next morning was Sunday and Clarke rarely ever set an alarm on Sundays, especially if it’s after a night out, so she’s trying to figure out why it keeps going off. 

She leans over to snooze the alarm, when she sees that it’s not her alarm at all, it’s a phone call from a California number.

Confused, curious and hungover, she answers the phone before the call goes to voicemail, “Hello?” she barely mumbles out.

“Good Morning. Don’t we sound hungover.” the deep voice laughs on the other end of the phone.

“Who is this, and why are you laughing at my unfortune?” Clarke grumbled, in no mood for teasing.

“It’s Bellamy. Octavia gave me your number. I brought Breakfast and Coffee, but wasn’t sure how to get into the building, or where to go from there.” he admitted shyly.

It took Clarke about 5 seconds for her head to clear enough. Bellamy, outside her apartment, with breakfast she agreed to. She looks like a hot mess express from last night's shenanigans. She is in dire need of a shower, tooth brush and some pain killers.

“Hello? Clarke? Did you go back to sleep?” he asked.

“No, sorry I'm here. Umm, let me buzz you in. I’m on the 15th floor. Last door on the right, right off the elevator. 1523. I’ll leave the latch open.” she instructed him as she flew off her bed and started running her shower, then headed to the door to buzz him in, and unlock her door. There was only one other Apartment on her floor, and it had been vacant for the last few months, so she didn’t feel unsafe doing so.

“Okay, I'll be right up.” as soon as he hung up, Clarke flew to her bathroom, striping her clothes off as fast as she could on her way and jumped into the already waiting shower.

She scrubbed her face and body as fast as she possibly could. She grabbed her towel and roughly dried off, then started brushing her teeth. As soon as she started swishing around mouthwash, while applying a bit of concealer and mascara to try and hide how hungover she was, she heard a knock on her door then the slight creak as it opened.

“Hello? Clarke?” Bellamy’s voice carried through her open apartment.

“I’m in the bathroom, be out in a sec. Make yourself comfortable.” she called back to him. She threw her wet hair up in a messy bun, and stepped into her bedroom to find some clothes.

Once she was dressed, and did a once over in her bedroom the mirror, she nodded at herself saying “This is going to be as good as it gets.” and heading out into her living area.

When she turned the corner, she saw Bellamy standing in the middle of her kitchen unloading food onto her island, “Good morning.” she greeted him.

“Well, looks like Octavia was wrong. You aren’t so grouchy first thing in the morning.” he smiled at her.

“Well, to be fair it’s...” she looked over to her oven to see the time, “after 10am. So, it hardly counts as first thing in the morning.” she joked.

“I knew about Jaspers mixed drinks last night. I'm not cruel to come over at an ungodly hour. Give me some credit.” he winked at her.

She just knew that she wasn’t going to be able to stop smiling all day if he didn’t stop that. She felt her cheeks flush, and was hoping she could just blame it on the hot shower she just took.

“So, what are we having this morning?” she asked him, curiously looking over to the bag on the counter.

“I found a doughnut place I wanted to try about a block from here, see if it was any good for future reference. And, of course coffee.” he said as he finished pulling out all the items from his to go bag.

“Caffeine and Carbs. The worlds universal hangover cure.” she commented as she moved past him to grab a couple of plates for them to use.

Once they doctored their coffees to their liking, Bellamy with a splash of milk, Clarke with just a smidge of milk and sugar, they headed over to her dining room table that was almost used as a workspace desk, more than it was for eating at. She was grateful she had cleaned it off Friday from all the electronics and files she had on there previously.

“So, what are you looking forward to the most, now that you live here in the city.” Clarke asked, wondering what he would be interested in, maybe be able to get to know him through his interests.

“Well, any museum or landmark that has to do with History is a given. I love being outdoors, and I think that comes from living in California most of my life. Parks, outdoor shopping, concerts, sports. Really anything entertainment wise on a nice day. Got any must see’s for a newbie?” he asks with an eyebrow raised.

“Well, with Summer practically here there are plenty of outdoor concerts, plays, even movie nights in the park. Saturdays there are always farmer’s markets, or various festivals to check out. And of course, enough historical landmarks and museums to fill your calendar for months on end. I think you landed yourself in the heart of everything you want.” she laughed and went to dive into the box of doughnuts to see which ones he had selected.

Bellamy chuckled a deep laugh, and looked at her as she started trying to decide which doughnut she wanted to try first with intense concentration.

“Yeah, maybe this city will have everything I’m looking for.” he said without taking his eyes off of her.

_____________________________________

After they finished their breakfast, Bellamy asked Clarke if she wanted to show him one of the park’s she had mentioned to him before. She agreed happily, and they set out on a beautiful Sunday together.

Once they reached the Bow Bridge in Central Park, Bellamy had learned all about how Clarke found herself in New York, how she was able to open her own gallery and how she and his sister had met.

“I know Octavia told you that we met at kickboxing, which is true. We were both seeing the same therapist, Indra, and we were recommended to the same class. As fate would have it, we got partnered up that first day, and the rest is history. From there I met Lincoln and now we co-own Griffin and Co Studio together. I almost squashed the project idea after my dad passed away, but I’m really glad that I didn’t.” she shared with him, with a shy smile.

“Wow, that’s incredible. I’ll be honest, I didn’t know about Octavia going to therapy until almost a year after she started. She had called to tell me about her new boyfriend and it just came up. I wasn’t sure if she would be afraid of what I would think, or if she wasn’t comfortable admitting that she needed help. Either way, I'm glad she has gotten the help she needed, and that she decided to share that part of her life with me. I felt like I had spent too much time away from the only family I had left, felt like I let her down by not being there for her when she needed me, so that’s why as soon as a spot opened at the university, I jumped on it without hesitation.” Bellamy explained.

“So, nothing gave you any reason to stay in California?” she asked casually as they stopped on the bridge to look as the ducks floating along the river below.

“Nothing, or No one?” he asked with a raised eyebrow and smirk.

“Both.” she laughed

“Ahh, something tells me you don’t remember our conversation in the cab last night.” he joked, as he nudged her should with his own.

“What do you mean?” Clarke asked, thoroughly confused.

“You asked a bit about why I came to New York, then said I didn’t seem to mention any significant other in my story. So, just to remind you, there is not currently a someone. And there was nothing or no one to give me a reason to stay on the west coast.” he finished with a bright smile.

“Well, at least I had enough sound mind to ask that last night.” she laughed, reminding herself to slow down on Jasper’s drinks next time.

Clarke really liked talking to Bellamy. The silences never felt awkward or stiff and the conversation flowed easily.

After a few more beats of silence, Bellamy spoke up, “So, do you still attend therapy?”

Clarke could feel that he seemed nervous to ask, so she thought she would help easy his tension by turning her head away from the water below to smile up at him, “I do. Once every 2 weeks on Monday afternoons. It used to be twice a week, then once a week, now it’s once every two weeks. I really love talking to Indra, and trust me that wasn’t always the case, but even if I feel like I'm doing well, it’s just nice to have someone to listen, maybe even offer an outsider's perspective on situations. Someone who has seen me at my lowest and can help pull me out of a hole that I can have a tendency to dig myself into at times.”

Bellmay cleared his throat, then smiled back at her, “I don’t want to pry into your personal life, so don’t feel obligated, but I would be happy to lend an ear anytime you want. I’m not a medical professional by any means, but I’d like to think I'm a pretty decent friend. So, what I'm trying to say is, if you ever find yourself needing to vent to someone, I'm available.”

Clarke pondered his words. She had known Bellamy for less than 48 hours, and here he was offering friendship and a listening ear to her. While he gave her that feeling in her stomach that indicated her feelings were more than just friendship related, she decided to ignore those in favor of starting a new friendship with him.

“I’d like that. The same goes for you too. I know what it’s like to move to the city. It can feel incredibly overwhelming for a while, especially when everyone else seems like they have their footing here. I accept your offer of friendship.” she said as she stuck out her hand to him.

Bellamy looked at her outstretched hand, and laughed as he took it in his much larger one. “Do you always treat friendships like a business deal?” he asked with an eyebrow raise.

“Only the important ones. No take backs!” she laughed as she kept a hold of his hand and led him further into the park.

_____________________________________

After grabbing lunch and continuing their stroll in the park, Bellamy’s phone started to buzz, he looked down to see an old picture of Octavia in her graduation gown and a bright smile on her face.

“It’s O.” he told Clarke as he answered the phone, “Hey, what’s up?”

“Hey, are you busy tonight?” Octavia asked.

“I don’t think so. I’ve been here a week, so my social calendar is still pretty open.” he joked, and Clarke rolled her eyes at him as they approached an ice cream cart.

“Well they are playing Casablanca in the Park tonight, so Lincoln and I were thinking about going. I know that movie is your secret guilty pleasure, so I wanted to know if you wanted to join us.”

Clarke mouthed to Bellamy, asking him what flavor he wanted, he told her “Mint Chocolate.” she laughed and high fived him, indicating that was also her flavor of choice.

“I think that sounds good. Is it okay if I invite someone, so I'm not a total third wheel?” he laughed.

“Oh? And who would you bring considering you made it very clear that you haven’t been here long enough to socialize yet?” his sister interrogated.

“One second,” he told his sister as he pulled the phone away from his ear, “Hey Clarke, do you want to join Lincoln and Octavia for a showing of Casablanca in the park tonight?”

Clarke walked up to him with two ice cream waffle cones full of mint chocolate chip ice cream, and a smile on her face, “Sure! I have stuff at my apartment we could bring to make it a bit more comfortable too.” she informed him.

Bellamy put the phone back to his ear, “Clarke and I will meet you guys there. Just text me when you get there and let us know where you are.”

“Oh, Clarke huh?” he could hear the suggestive tone in his sister’s voice, “In that case, she knows where our usual spot is and we will see you two tonight. Movie starts at 8pm.” and with that, she hung up.

“Octavia said it starts at 8, and that you know where the usual spot is.” he relayed to Clarke.

“Yes, we have a friend who works security at these events and he always has our spot reserved.” she told him as she started licking her slowly melting ice cream.

“Oh, I didn’t realize I was in the presence of royalty.” has joked sarcastically.

“Yep, and don’t you forget it.” she laughed as they made their way back to her apartment through the park, enjoying their ice cream and each other’s company.

_____________________________________

  
Bellamy and Clarke headed to the park to meet his sister and Lincoln for the movie later that evening. They had grabbed a blanket, bottle of wine and glasses as well as some assorted candy and a charcuterie board in a picnic basket to bring with them.

Once they arrived, Bellamy started looking for Octavia when Clarke nudged him. When he looked down at her, she tilted her head towards a big oak tree near to the right of the screen almost near the back.

When they arrived at the tree, there was a large man covered in tattoos standing near the tree. Bellamy was about to ask Clarke if she was sure this is where they were supposed to be. He didn’t want any trouble with the large man, but his nerves settled as he saw Clarke walk right up to him and tap him on the shoulder.

“Hi Nyko, thanks for guarding our spot.” she said to the man, and offered him a box of candy from the picnic basket. “This is Bellamy, Octavia’s brother.” she introduced.

The man, Nyko, turned to him and smiled, “It’s nice to meet another Blake. You guys enjoy the movie.” he said as he grabbed the ‘reserved’ sign from the low hanging branch and headed towards the back of the crowd.

Clarke laid out the blanket, then started pulling out their various goodies. “Octavia always likes to show up just before the movie starts, so we befriended Nyko and had him start reserving our spot in exchange for movie candy. It’s a pretty good deal.” she explained nonchalantly.

“I’ll say. I was worried for a second that some huge guy had taken your spot.”

Bellamy took his seat next to Clarke, and just about 5 minutes before the movie started playing, Octavia and Lincoln showed up with their own blanket and basket.

“Hey, glad you two could make it.” Lincoln said as he started laying out their own blanket.

“You know I could never turn down Casablanca. It’s a classic.” Clarke told him.

“And we know Bell couldn’t pass up watching his favorite movie.” Octavia said a bit teasingly.

“ONE of my favorites.” he corrected his sister.

They all caught up on their day, and what they were planning for the upcoming week.

“I still have to finish my pieces for the showcase this week. They need time to dry before we hang them up next week.” Clarke added.

“You’re really going to keep tinkering with perfection?” Lincoln asked in a teasing tone.

“It’s far from perfect. It’s missing something.” she said as she looked off trying to figure out just what it could be.

“Wait, you also paint? I thought you just owned and ran the gallery?” Bellamy asked a bit surprised.

“Oh no, this one here is one of the top sellers. It’s what makes her such a good boss. She understands the time and work artists put into each piece and makes sure they are treated with respect and compensated properly.” Lincoln chimed in.

“Yeah, and our Clarke here is one of the best in the city. It’s why all the fancy people want to come to the openings and write articles on her and the gallery.” Octavia said proudly.

“I’m no Van Gough, you guys.” Clarke said as she rolled her eyes lightheartedly.

“Well, I'm even more impressed than I was before. When is the opening?” Bellamy asked.

“A week from this Friday.” Clarke informed him, she bit on her bottom lip in hesitation, then offered, “I actually have an extra ticket to the opening if you want to come. I usually give the plus 1 to my mom, but she has a conference and won’t be able to make the opening. I know you start classes the same week, so I understand if you’re busy...”

Before she could continue giving him an out, he interrupted her, “I would love to go. I have to admit, I’m not that knowledgeable about art, but I like to think I can still appreciate it. Especially when I know two of the artists.”

“Well, I’ll make sure to put you on the list tomorrow when I get to the office.” Clarke told him, just as the movie began to play.

Bellamy didn’t want to admit it, but he had a hard time focusing on the movie. He kept glancing towards Clarke during some of the movie's best parts, wanting to see her reaction. He was never disappointed. She was incredibly expressive, and he even caught her mouthing the words to some of the scenes.

He saw her separating her peanut M&M’s into piles of colored ones and brown ones, only eating the brown ones. “Less artificial coloring, because, chocolate is already brown.” she laughed when she gave him the explanation. Then she set all of the colored ones in his hand to share.

Just as Rick’s unforgettable memories of his romance in Paris with Ilsa started to play and the couple was dancing to the haunting and classic, "Perfidia”, couples started to stand and dance in the park.

Bellamy isn’t sure what came over him. Maybe it was the movie, or the scene before him of the other movie goer’s dancing, but he leaned over and whispered just near Clarke’s ear, asking if she wanted to join him for a dance.

The answering smile she gave him made his heart soar. As he led her a small distance from their movie spot, just next to the tree, Clarke laid her head on his chest as they began to sway.

“Thank you for today. I can’t remember the last time I had this much fun exploring the city.” she told him as she looked up at him.

With a soft smile, Bellamy leaned down and pressed his lips lightly to her forehead in a sweet kiss, “Thank you for showing me around. It was definitely the best way to see the city, and I hope I’m not bothering you to say I hope we have many more days like today.”

“That would never be a bother. I’m excited for you to come to the showcase.” she told him as the continued to slowly sway.

“I wouldn’t miss it.” he told her as he pushed a strand of her blonde hair behind her ear.

As the song came to an end, Clarke opted to sit on the tree branch, extending her hand for him to join her. They finished the rest of the movie there, and when the final scene came where Ilsa was to get on the plane without Rick, Bellamy saw Clarke tear up. He reached over and held her hand as Rick quoted:

_“_ _If that plane leaves the ground and you're not with him, you'll regret it. Maybe not today. Maybe not tomorrow, but soon and for the rest of your life.”_

“He was a coward. He should’ve gone with Ilsa.” Clarke said suddenly.

“One could argue that, but you could also argue that he made a very selfless decision by letting her go. It would be best for her in the long run, no matter how much it hurt.” Bellamy added.

Clarke took a long glance at him, then shrugged her shoulders, “Maybe, but we might only get one great love in this life, so why risk losing it if you can help it?”

Bellamy was a bit taken back by that. Not many people he’s ever met were ever interested in discussing in depth analysis of the ethical dilemmas some movies portray.

“I think I’m going to like watching movies with you.” he chuckled, as she rolled her eyes.

Once the movie ended, and they parted ways with Octavia and Lincoln. Bellamy walked Clarke home, stopping just outside of her building, “Well, thank you again for an amazing day.” he let hang.

“It was fun, huh?” she laughed. “I hope we can do it again sometime. I know you have classes coming up, so I will default to you on when you have free time.” and before she could talk herself out of it, she leaned up on her tip toes and kissed his cheek, then made her way inside with a small wave to him.

Bellamy stood stunned in the best way, then after he saw Clarke disappear into the lobby, he made his way home. Well, the city had done a complete 180 for him from when he arrived there the past week, and he was excited to see what this new life would lead.

When Clarke made it into bed that night, she had an awaiting text:

_Bellamy:_

_“So, Common Grounds tomorrow? 7:30am?”_

_Clarke:_

_“You bet. I’ll see you tomorrow 😊"_

_Bellamy:_

_“See you then. Goodnight, Clarke.”_

_Clarke:_

_“Goodnight Bellamy.”_

Clarke laid in bed with a huge smile on her face as she fell asleep, and it still seemed to be there when she woke up the next morning.


	5. This slope is treacherous, And I like it.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke finally starts to accept that she may have feelings for Bellamy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s Friday Everyone!
> 
> This week had been a trip! Voting for Eliza non-stop, getting her the win SHE DESERVES! And the trailer dropping....We’ll just leave it at that.
> 
> Enjoy this more dialogue heavy chapter!

Clarke’s week went on as it always had, except for the addition of setting her alarm 15 minutes earlier each day, so she could enjoy her coffee with Bellamy at Common Grounds before heading to the gallery on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays.

It was Thursday when she finally decided what her pieces were missing. Her collection was titled “A New York’s Summer.”, and she was putting the finishing touches on her last of the three canvases in front of her when Lincoln came in behind her.

“So, has the master finally finished?” he joked.

“I think so. Want to give some feedback?” she asked.

Lincoln stepped up next to her and Clarke suddenly felt nervous. Was it too much? She should’ve just left it alone. Well, no going back now, it was there. It felt like an eternity that they stood in silence, Lincoln carefully looking over each canvas with his analytical look on his face, before he cracked a small smile.

“This is amazing. I think it captures your intention perfectly.” he told her honestly.

Clarke let out a breath she didn’t realize she was holding. She looked over the first canvas of the bridge in the park where she painted in two small figure silhouettes looking over the bridge. 

Then to the Painting of a slight aerial view from the back of the movie in the park, facing the screen, with the same two small silhouettes sitting on a tree branch enjoying the movie. 

Then she came to the final painting. It was similar to the one she did for the spring showcase that got a lot of traction from buyers. It was a summer version of the father and daughter getting ice cream cones and taking a stroll in the park, to now a couple holding hands with matching ice cream cones in a different view of the park sitting on a bench together.

Clarke knew it could be read as too much, but there was a reason that she took Bellamy to each of the locations the past weekend. She had each of the paintings already done, and was trying to see what they were missing by revisiting each location before she had to put the final touches on her work.

She realized after their day together, that what was missing was someone, or someone’s, enjoying the Summers of New York. It was just a small, subtle black silhouette of two figures added to each painting that could be anyone, of any gender, enjoying each activity shown.

Then Clarke looked to Lincoln, “Well, then it would appear that I am finally finished.”

He smiled back and gave her a fist bump, then headed over to his own work area to finish up his own project, while Clarke headed to the sinks to clean up for the day.

When she had finally cleaned up and changed, she pulled her phone out of her bag to find a text message from the person she was just thinking about.

_Bellamy:_

_“Any chance you are free this weekend, before I get locked into classes for the next 6 weeks?”_

_Clarke:_

_“Aside from Kickboxing Class tomorrow early evening, I am officially free. Just finished my pieces for the showcase, so no weekend work for me.”_

_Bellamy:_

_“Congratulations! I can’t wait to see them. I wanted to know if you wanted to go to a museum or two on Saturday? I want to at least see the American Museum of Natural History before classes start.”_

_Clarke:_

_“Well, that is going to require a lot of coffee to get through for me, but for you I think I can make it work_ _😉"_

_Bellamy:_

_“Perfect! I’ll be by your place at 9am on Saturday? I’ll be the one with two large coffees_ _😊"_

_Clarke:_

_“I can’t say no to that. I’ll still see you for breakfast tomorrow as well?”_

Clarke put her phone away before heading out of the gallery for the evening. When she made it home, she changed and started pulling things out for dinner when she went to grab her phone and put on her wind down playlist for the evening when she saw his reply:

_Bellamy:_

_“I wouldn’t miss it! See you in the AM.”_

Clarke smiled to herself. This was normal, this is a normal friends thing. Getting coffee, going out exploring on the weekends, texting, it was totally normal and not at all flirty, right? She shook her thoughts clear as she settled onto her couch with her remote in hand, ready to continue her latest binge on Netflix with a glass of wine and dinner.

__________________________________

“Raven, what the hell is this thing?” Clarke said, looking up at her friend who was on top of a 12 ft ladder when she walked into the gallery Friday.

Raven just grinned, then finished tightening a bolt before she started ascending from above, “I told you two weeks ago. Lincoln has this piece he needs suspended from the ceiling. It’s all lights and wires and looks like you’re standing under a huge willow tree strung up with lights when you’re underneath it.

“And this is completely safe? We aren’t going to need paramedics on standby?” Clarke asked cautiously.

“This baby isn’t going anywhere.” Raven say with a final hop down from the ladder, “Although, if we have undesirables show up, all it would take is for me to loosen a few of those bolts...” she let the rest of her sentence trail off with a devious smirk.

“Raven, please don’t go giving Griffin a heart attack.” Roan said appearing just behind the both of them.

Raven gave Clarke a wink, then headed out of the gallery, no doubt probably getting ready to rig up another contraption. “You know she’s the best there is. No one will get hurt if she doesn’t want them too.” Roan joked.

“I know, it’s just, this thing is massive and I’d like to go over worse case scenarios now, and not opening night.” Clarke retorted.

“You know I run a tight ship. Your pieces are done, everything is ready to be installed next week, everything is set. Go home, have a nice relaxing weekend. We got everything covered here. Plus, a little birdie told me you have a date this weekend.” he smirked at her.

“We all know that ‘little birdie’ is Raven.” Clarke raised an eyebrow at him. “Plus, it’s not a date. It’s one friend showing another friend thing’s to do in the city.” she sighed, tired of explaining it, mainly to herself.

“Uh-huh, sure. Look, I know you have past issues with trusting people, but maybe it’s time to ease these barriers on people before they even have a change to get close. Boundaries are healthy, but holding everyone at arms-length before they even have a chance to get to know you, that’s going to make you miserable. Not everyone you meet is after what those who have fucked you over were after. Remember that and give the poor guy a chance. He’s related to Octavia, I'm pretty sure she would’ve warned you or kicked his ass already if he didn’t have true and honest intentions.” with that, Roan headed in the same direction Raven had just before.

Roan saw a lot of the fall out and breakdowns that Clarke had experienced over the years. He was protective of her in a non-overbearing way. Maybe he was right and it was time she maybe let someone in, let them get to know her, the real her before assuming they’ll just leave her battered, bruised and heartbroken.

Bellamy did truly seem different. He didn’t freak out or belittle her when he found out she had been and was still currently attending therapy, didn’t seem to push for more than what she was willing to give, didn’t make her feel like she was being smothered or isolated. He made her feel like the carefree and fun version of herself that she rarely showed anyone, and not like the version who felt like she constantly had the weight of the world on her shoulders.

Maybe, just maybe, he was the type of friend she needed in her life. She wasn’t sure if anything more could come of their friendship, even though there was no denying the attraction and chemistry they shared, but only time would tell. She would have to at least give him an inch to know if he would take a mile or respect her.

She let the thoughts of what could be consume her as she headed out for the weekend, and over to meet the other Blake for kickboxing class, who was not pulling any punches both physically and with her interrogative questions.

“Look, I love my brother, and I know I don’t need to give you any ‘don’t you dare hurt him’ spiel. I just want to know if you’re sure, if you’re comfortable hanging out with him, whether as friends or more alone.” Octavia said as she took another 1-2 jab at the bag Clarke was holding.

“I think I am. It’s been a few years since I've been in a relationship, so I can’t say I'm sure I'm ready for that. I think if I am, I'll know when it happens. But I am definitely comfortable hanging out with Bellamy, alone or in a group. He’s a nice guy, we have similar interests, it never feels like an obligation to talk to him. It’s, just a really nice feeling to have.” she explained and her and Octavia switched positions for Clarke to get some jabs in.

“Well, you have my blessing. I think you two would be good for one another. Even if that means just friends. Bell is pretty accepting and a great listener. I think if you lay all your cards out on where your head is at, he’ll understand. Just, try not to lead him on if you feel like it isn’t going anywhere. He had a rough go of it in his last relationship, and I don’t want to see him hurt like that again.”

Clarke stopped her assault on the punching bag, and looked at Octavia, “What do you mean?”

“Gina. He and Gina were together for 3 years, friends all through college before that. When he told her that he wanted to get out of California and give New York a try, be able to be closer to his last remaining family, he asked her to come with him.” Clarke took an intake of breath, wondering what was coming next, “She said no. She said she loved him, but not enough to move across the country with him. It broke him. I know he would try to hide it when we would facetime, but I could see it. Once of the strongest people I know was shattered.”

They walked over to the rest area to towel off and get some water, “How long ago was this?” Clarke asked.

“Around Christmas time. He had just gotten the job offer, but didn’t accept it yet. I honestly thought he was going to turn it down to stay with her, and I wouldn’t have blamed him, but it was something he wanted to do. So, they ended their relationship, she moved out by new year's, and now he’s here and he seems genuinely happy.” Octavia said with a genuine smile.

“Feeling like you’re not good enough it the hardest insecurity to overcome. I don’t see how anyone could think he’s not enough. I’ve only known him a week and even I can tell that his ex must be insane to say no to him.” Clarke shook her head in confusion.

“The fact that you think that about him after such a short amount of time, that you see that in him, that’s what makes me know that I wouldn’t have to worry about you breaking him. Gina was nice, but I don’t think she fully saw Bellamy for all he is, otherwise she would’ve never turned him down, or at least asked him to stay, to fight for their relationship.” Octavia said in a bit of pain.

Clarke couldn’t believe it. She knew what it felt like to be put last, to not be cared for the same way that she cared for others, to feel like or be told you’re not worth it. But one thing she knew for certain, Bellamy was absolutely worth it, worth fighting for. 

It was then she made a promise to herself, that she would make sure no pain or feelings of worthlessness would come to him, at least not from her. 

She promised herself that she would let him go no matter how much it would pain her, before she could ever be the person to inflict any pain on him.


	6. I can’t breathe, but I have to.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TW// Panic attack depiction.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday, Loves!
> 
> We will slowly start to see the decline and PTSD depictions from Clarke’s past and Mental Health.
> 
> If that’s not your cup of tea, please skip this chapter. I will do my absolute best to put proper trigger warnings at the beginning of each chapter. Most of the scenarios are from personal experience.
> 
> I’m not a professional, so please seek help if you feel like you need it. You are worthy, you are loved, and this world is a better place with you in it ❤️

Saturday morning found Clarke waking up with excitement. She put on a cute floral romper and grabbed her denim jacket as she headed out of her building to find Bellamy strolling up with two large coffees, as promised.

  
“It’s nice to know you didn’t mind being up early on a Saturday.” he greeted her.

“Well for coffee, I'll do just about anything.” she said making grabby hands for one of the cups.

He laughed and handed hers over to her, “Good to know.”

They walked to the Musuem of Natural History, and Clarke loved how Bellamy’s face lit up like a kid on Christmas morning at all the different exhibits. 

She trailed a half step behind him, letting him drone on about all the different time periods, how many movies nowadays portrayed so many historical inaccuracies, and just let him gush about something he loved so much and was passionate about. She figured that’s how she must sound when she’s talking about her art.

Bellamy was in the middle of telling her about some Roman or Greek God, she must’ve blanked, when he stopped mid-sentence and asked with a huge smile on his face, “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Clarke didn’t realize that she was just blankly staring at him, smiling, if the pain in her cheeks were any indication, “I just love seeing people be as excited and enjoy what they do for a living, as I do.”

“Well, I will get to see you in all your Artist glory next weekend, so we can be even.” he laughed as they moved to the next exhibit. “Now, let me tell you about the misconception of the Greek Gods.” he continued.

“Is there going to be a test at the end of the tour, Professor?” she lightly joked.

“Maybe, but from what you said, you weren’t the best at History.” he teased her.

“Oh, something tells me I'll do much better this go around.” she winked, then strolled past him to the next room.

Bellamy just shook his head at her and they continued on, him taking note of her teasing tone when she called him Professor.

And that’s how their relationship continued. Exchanging texts throughout their days, talking about anything and everything, meeting up for morning coffee before Clarke headed to the gallery for the day. Weekends in each other’s company, both with their friends and alone together. Clarke finally felt like this could work, her and Bellamy. She didn’t feel rushed or pressured into making it something it wasn’t.

When the following Monday came, Clarke had told Bellamy that it would be fine for him to skip meeting her for coffee since it was his first day of teaching for the summer section. Of course, he waved her off saying, “I need something calming before I tackle this new task. A good distraction to help my nerves.”

So, just like the last couple of Monday’s, she met Bellamy at their usual table at Common Grounds and enjoyed their first cup of coffee of the day together, while Harper prepared the rest of her colleagues orders.

“So, how are you feeling on your first day of school?” She inquired, noticing him tearing bits of his coffee sleeve apart.

“Nervous. I don’t know why, it’s definitely not my first time teaching. I guess we just never grow out of our first day of school jitters.” He shrugged helplessly.

“Well, I’m sure whoever is in your class will know pretty quickly how much they lucked out getting you as their professor. I don’t think you have anything to worry about.” She reassured him, placing a calming hand on his.

When Bellamy looked up at her and smiled, intertwining their fingers together, Clarke felt it. 

She had always felt like the burden, that she was constantly never good enough, that she needed others more than they needed her. But, being able to bring a smile to Bellamy’s face and offer any kind of calming presence to him, that was something she had never felt before. Needed and wanted. So, why did it scare her?

When Harper called for her, saying her order was ready, she almost jumped out of her chair.

“Well, I think that’s my cue that I can’t put off the inevitable anymore. It’s time for me to get to the university and start this new chapter. Have a great day at work.” Bellamy told her, as he shouldered his bag and kissed her quickly on the cheek as he passed her on his way out the door.

Clarke shook her head, trying to clear her thoughts as she headed to the counter, Harper looking at her questionably, “Everything okay there?”

“Uh, yeah. All good. Thanks Harp!” Clarke told her, shooting what’s she sure looked like a forced smile.

She headed to the gallery in a haze. She didn’t know why, didn’t know how, but she felt it building in her chest. A panic attack was on the brink and she was trying her damnedest to keep it at bay.

She didn’t even remember walking into the gallery and up to the second floor. She didn’t remember passing Raven in the hallway and handing her the coffee orders before bolting to her office.

As soon as her door was shut, she slid down it before the shortness of breath came and tears started down her face.

_‘You aren’t good enough. You’re a burden. You’re broken. You aren’t good enough. You’re a burden. You’re broken.’_

She couldn’t get the words to stop repeating. Over and over again. What finally broke her out of it was a pounding on her door.

“Let me in Griffin.” Roans booming voice came from the other side.

Clarke tried to wipe her tears away as much as she could. With shaky legs she stood up and finally opened the door to see a concerned looking Roan.

He took one look at her, and slowly lifted his hands, stepping forward like he was approaching a wounded animal, “It’s okay. It’s just me. What happened?”

Clarke just shook her head, not trusting herself to speak, then she felt the tears again and that was all Roan needed to step forward and wrap her in a bear hug.

She cried quite sobs into what she was sure was an expensive Italian suit, knowing Roan.

“I can’t. I’m going to ruin him.” She said between trying to catch her breath.

“What are you going on about?” He asked her, running a soothing hand up and down her back.

“Bellamy. He looks at me like I’m this amazing person, someone he would go to for help, advice, comfort. If only he knew how much of a mess I am, he’d run now. I can’t help anyone, I can barely hold myself together sometimes. Exhibit A.” She said looking up at her friend.

Roan got a dangerous look in his eye, “Did he hurt you?” He growled out.

Clarke started to panic. The last thing she needed was for Roan to be after Bellamy. Another thing she would mess up.

“God no. He’s, amazing. He listens, actually cares about what I think, what I have to say, but then he gives me this look like I’m what makes sense. If he knew the truth, he’d see me for what I really am. Broken, a burden, a hot ass mess.” She sniffed.

“Look, I’m going to give it to you straight. Those voices in your head telling you that shit, that’s not you. It’s not his voice, it’s not the voice of any one of us who cares about you. Those are the voices of people who have hurt you. Who used and abused you and your generosity. Don’t let those voice win. You’re so much better than they are.” He told her.

“What if I’m not? There’s a reason everyone I love, everyone I let get close, they get hurt or they leave.” She confessed.

And there it was. She already couldn’t stand the thought of losing Bellamy or hurting him.

“You won’t know if you never let anyone in. You’re a catch Griffin. You deserve happiness. I know this may be triggered from pre-show nerves, but don’t let them win. You’re amazing.” Roan took a look at his watch, “Why don’t you give Indra a call. See about going in early for your session? We have everything under control here. Then, go home and get some rest. Call me or any one of us if you need anything. I mean it.” He told her with his most stern face.

“Thanks Roan. Please, don’t tell the others about my little breakdown today. I don’t want to worry anybody over something silly.”

“Your wellbeing isn’t silly. We all love you and will be concerned about you, but if anyone asks, I’ll tell them I told you to take the afternoon off. Not like they’ll believe you actually listened.” He winked and made her laugh.

“Okay, I’m going. I’ll see you tomorrow.” She said as she followed him out of her office.

“You sure you’ll be okay? Want me to walk with you? Call a car?” He offered.

“No, I’m okay. I think a walk and some fresh air will do me some good.” With that, she waved and headed back out onto the street.

Luckily, Indra had a cancellation and told her she would be ready in half an hour. So, Clarke took the scenic route on the way to Indra’s office, trying to collect her thoughts before her appointment.

___________________  
  


Bellamy felt like his first day was going well. He had back to back classes from 9am-12pm, then a break for lunch before his last class of the day at 2pm. This was his Monday, Wednesday and Friday schedule, with office hours only on Tuesdays and Thursdays.

He felt like once the fall term came, his current schedule would feel like cake. He’s had great participation from each class so far, even though it was just going over the syllabus. They would be covering double the amount of materials each class period as opposed to the other terms, since they only had 6 short weeks together.

He made it back to his office for lunch right at 1pm and decided to pull out his phone to send a text to Clarke, letting her know how the first half of his day had gone so far. 

After firing off a summary of his day, he focused on his lunch, read a few emails and then just as he was about to head out to his last class of the day, he checked his phone again, but there was no answer. 

It seemed odd to him, since Clarke prided herself on being a pretty quick responder, but it was her galleries show this week, so he just assumed she was busy with that.

With one final look at his phone, he headed to his final class period to put a stamp on his first day on the job.


	7. I Will Be Your Remedy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Clarke confronts her fears head on. What she does about it will define if she lives in fear, or gets what she wants.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Friday!  
> So, this has been a week, eh? The final premier episode aired, and the absence of Bellamy was heavily felt by myself as well as the fandom i'm sure. 
> 
> So please enjoy Bellamy in this chapter!
> 
> Therapy has been a godsend in my life, and I'm glad in some world that Clarke is getting the help she needs on things that are constantly not addressed in the show.
> 
> Happy Reading, feedback is always appreciated!

When Clarke arrived at  Indra's office, her daughter was sitting at the reception desk.

“Hey, Gaia. Where’s Fox?” Clarke greeted.

“She needed the morning off. Something about her cat needing to go to the vet, so here I am.” Gaia explained with her reassuring smile. “Mom is ready for you, when you are.”

Clarke nodded at her and took a deep breath before softly knocking on and opening Indra’s door.

“Clarke.” Indra greeted her.

“Indra.” Clarke said distant, as she took a seat across from Indra.

There was silence for a good 3 minutes, before Indra spoke, “So, are we going to talk about why you moved your regular 4pm time slot to 9am?”

Clarke took a deep breath, there was no sense in playing it off or trying to lie. Indra knew this wasn’t just a simple schedule conflict, so she might as well be honest. “I had a bit of a panic attack this morning.”

Indra just nodded, waiting for her to continue. “I don’t really know why or how it happened. I was having my regular morning coffee with Bellamy at the café, then I felt it building in my chest on the way to the gallery. By the time I made it up to my office I was having a hard time breathing or focusing on anything, including how I even got there. It all seemed like a blur.”

“Did anything happen this  morning that was different from any other morning, before you felt the panic start to creep in?”

_ Yes.  _ “No” Clarke lied.

“I thought we were past all this?” Indra sighed.

“Past what?” Clarke looked at her confused.

“The lying bullshit. It was one thing when we didn’t know each other, when you didn’t trust me just yet, but are we really going to revert back to that?” she asked her bluntly.

Clarke was taken aback for a quick second, but then realized who she was talking to. She couldn’t bullshit Indra when they were practically strangers, what made her think she could do it now?

“Why don’t we try that again, the truth this time.” Indra pressed.

“It was Bellamy. Not intentionally. He had just made me feel like I was someone he could count on, and we both know I can’t even count on myself,  much less have someone else count on me. I’m afraid he’s going to get close  enough to see the cracks, to see how broken I am, that I can’t be someone he can count on and therefore, lose him before I even have him.” she laid all out.

Indra just made a small hum and she started writing something on her notepad that Clarke was never able to get her to show her.

“I feel like, he could be good for me but I know I'm no good for him. He’s a very selfless person, and I can’t be so  selfish to keep him knowing I would just ruin him.” Clarke admitted, feeling her throat tighten with emotion.

“Why do you think you would ruin him?” Indra asked simply.

“You’re the one with 2  years' worth of notes on me, do you really need to ask?”” she tried to joke.

Indra looked at Clarke with an inscrutable look, tapped her pen she was using against the notebook a few times, then closed the book and set it on the table between them.

Clarke wasn’t sure what was happening, but all of the sudden Indra got up and walked over to one of the windows in her office. Looking out over the city, she spoke to Clarke, “You don’t believe you deserve love or happiness because of what has happened to you, is that right?”

Before Clarke could even answer, Indra pressed on, “You loved Finn, he left you. You loved Wells and he passed away. You loved Lexa and she also left you. Then your father...” Indra shook her head, then looked over to Clarke with eyes that showed something Clarke wasn’t used to, shared pain.

  


“I loved Gaia’s father, and he left us. I went through a lot of  self-doubt and feelings of worthlessness myself. Those that left you Clarke, willing or unwillingly, that is not your fault. Just like you can’t force someone to stay, you can’t force them to leave. Humans have free will, they make their own choices. Nothing you could’ve done would’ve stopped them.  Temporarily maybe, but not indefinitely. They would have left at some point,  because they were not meant to be with you for this season of your life. You have to stop punishing yourself and others by pushing everyone away, because you think they’ll leave you too.” Indra told her, coming to sit next to her.

Clarke  tried to hold back a sob, “I’m scared that I'll break him too. If I push him away, I can keep him safe from me. I can’t imagine being a person who hurts him.” she choked out.

“Then don’t. Don’t be the one to hurt him. If you know, you are sure this is something you want to pursue, then do it. If it’s not, or you are even a tiny bit unsure, pull back now. You can’t assume you’ll always be the one inflicting pain, or that there will be pain at all. You could both end this amicably or you could get a lifetime of happiness. Not every relationship will blow up in smoke.” Indra told her with a comforting hand to her shoulder.

It was something Clarke had been trying to work on.  Self-worth , her  insecurities of abandonment, putting herself out there for something that could possibly not end in flames. It was why she stuck to no strings attached flings. She didn’t want to invest her feelings into anyone and get hurt, or  vice versa.

“Is something with Bellamy what you want?” Indra asked simply.

Before Clarke could even think about her answer , her  brain spit out the answer, surprising her. “Yes.”

“Then do it. We only get one life  Clarke. You deserve to live yours being happy.”

Clarke sat there in shock. It had been some time since she allowed herself to actually voice what she wanted, what she felt would make her happy, to put herself and wants and needs first. She always walked on eggshells around those feelings, but Indra was right. She only gets one life, and right now, she wants that to include Bellamy.

“Thank you. Truly. I have a hard time remembering that I am allowed to want things.” Clarke told Indra.

“What I'm here for. You know where to find me if you need me.” Indra told her as she gave her a small smile, then returned to her desk.

Clarke grabbed her bag, and headed out of Indra’s office with a wave and a promise to see each other at the exhibit opening later in the week.

She decided to take a walk in the park to dwell on the words her and Indra had exchanged that morning. She found a large shaded tree and took a seat at the base of it, pulling  out her sketch book and started drawing the thing that kept occupying her mind. She drew Bellamy.

By the time she was finishing the shading on Bellamy’s profile, looking at one of the Roman exhibits from the Museum they had visited together the weekend before, her stomach started growling. It was almost 3pm and she had completely forgotten to eat lunch. When she pulled her phone out, she saw a text from Bellamy.

_ Bellamy: _

_ “Hey, just wanted to let you know I've survived my first 4 classes. Only 1 more to go. How is the setup going?” _

Clarke realized he must’ve sent that during his off period, and that he should be done with his last class of the day so she took the gamble and hit the call button.

“Just in time.” Bellamy answered with a laugh, and God did she love that sound.

“Just in time for what?” she laughed back.

“I was beginning to wonder if we needed to send out a search party when you didn’t answer within the hour. Very Un-Clarke of you.”

“Yes, sorry I got distracted today.” she told him.

“Well I can imagine. I know it’s a busy week for you. I was going to ask if you wanted to come to my place for dinner in celebration of me surviving my first day?” he asked hopeful.

“Well, I won’t say no to that. What’s on the menu that you would like to celebrate with?”

“I was going to order from the Pizzeria down the road from my Apartment. The one that has heavenly smelling  garlic bread every time I pass by. You in?”

Clarke’s stomach growled even louder right then, and she bit her lip to keep from laughing at the timing, “I’m so in. Let me head home and change, then I’ll head over.”

“Perfect. I’ll see you then.” with that, Bellamy hung up and Clarke gathered her stuff to head home, before heading over to see Bellamy. And for the first time that day, she felt lighter and happier at the thought of getting to be with him.

_________________________________________

When Clarke arrived outside of Bellamy’s door, she could hear the music filtering through. It sounded happy, joyful and celebratory. When she knocked, so watched in amusement as Bellamy answered the door with a bright smile on his face. He scooped Clarke up into the biggest hug and pulled her inside his apartment.

Once he set her down, Clarke was trying to catch her breath from laughing, “I’m guessing you had a good first day?”.

“I had the BEST day! Literally, everyone was so interactive and attentive. I have a feeling it is going to be a good term, and now that I know that, my worries and stress seem to have disappeared. I feel like I made the right decision moving here, and I'm just happy.” he told her with a relaxed sigh.

Clarke liked this look on him. Happy, carefree, content, she wondered if she could ever be that way with him, if he noticed that her light always had a slight dim to it. She shook her thoughts off before it started to spiral.

“Well you deserve it. I’m happy that you feel good about all this.” she told him with a hand on his arm.

Bellamy smiled at her, then thread his hand in hers and started pulling her towards the kitchen, “So, how was your day?”.

As Bellamy got out a couple of wine glasses, Clarke thought over her answer. She could just tell him a simple and generic answer, or she could tell him the truth. If she wanted any chance at something more with Bellamy, he would have to know sooner or later.

“It was okay. Started a bit rough, but my afternoon was pretty great and now I'm here, so I think it’s continuing to look up.” she smiled at him and accepted the  glass of wine as they headed over to the couch.

“Do you want to talk about it?” he asked simply.

Clarke took a steady breath, it was now or never, “I told you how I'm in therapy. I had a  rough few years that really took a toll on me. I suffer from anxiety and panic attacks. They’re  rare now, but they do happen. I had this morning at the gallery. Roan was able to help calm me down and sent me home for the rest of the day. I went to see Indra for an  earlier session to talk things out, try to find the trigger and work through it.”

  


“I want you to know before I tell you the rest, that I really like you, I think you’re amazing, and I feel happy and safe with you. I was sent into a panic because I have had the worst track record with relationships. Everyone I care about either dies or leaves me. I had been ignoring my feelings for you since we formally met because I was scared. You are an amazing person and once I finally acknowledged my feelings, I got scared, started to panic about losing you or hurting you and I couldn’t get it out of my head.”

“I know this seems like a lot, and if you want to run the other way I totally get it, but I resigned to the fact that I will never know or have the chance at that type of happiness if I push everyone away before anything can ever happen. This is totally my issue, and I’m working on it. It’s just a fear of mine that I'm trying to overcome. This is probably more than what you were asking for, but I figured I needed to be honest with you now and give you an out if you wanted it.” she finished, staring down at the wine in her hand, unable to look him in the eye.

“Well, that’s a really  roundabout way of saying you like me.” he smiled at her.

Clarke realizing this was him trying to lighten her mood, she sighed and shoved his shoulder lightly, “Yeah, yeah I'm emotionally stunted, you asked for it.” she laughed.

Bellamy put his hand on top of hers and waited until she looked up at him, “Thank you for telling me. I’m sorry if I scared you or came on too strong. I really like you too, but I don’t want to do anything that would hurt you or make you uncomfortable. So, the metaphorical ball is in your court, Clarke.”

Clarke set her wine glass on the table, and took Bellamy’s from his hand and did the same, she moved closer to him on the couch and took his face in her hands, “Can I just see something?”.

Bellamy’s face lite up in understanding, “Clarke, if you’re asking permission to...” the rest of his sentence died on his tongue, as Clarke leaned in the rest of the way and kissed him, gently and chaste.

When she pulled back with a smile on her face, Bellamy pulled her back to him gently with a hand on the back of her neck. This one was far from chaste. Clarke sighed into the kiss, and Bellamy pulled her to sit on his lap. She combed her fingers into his hair,  lightly scratching his scalp. Just then, there was a knock on the door that scared them both.

“That would be dinner.” Bellamy sighed as he leaned his forehead onto hers.

“That’s probably a good thing.” Clarke responded as she slowly made her way off of his lap.

“I swear I've never been less excited about food.” Bellamy mumbled as he got up to go to the door, smiling as her heard Clarke laugh as his little confession.

Once they were back on the couch with Dinner, Clarke approached the topic, “So, should we talk about what happened?” she giggled.

“I told you, balls in your court.”

“How  accommodating of you.” she said with a hint of sarcasm.

“I don’t want to do anything you are not ready for.” Bellamy told her honestly.

“We both established that we have more than friendly feelings for each other, we obviously have mutual  attraction and  chemistry . I’d like to see where this goes, if you do.” she told him.

Bellamy took another bite of pizza, then looked at her, “So, see where this goes means?”

“We don’t have to label it if that’s what you’re thinking, but I am not currently seeing or interested in seeing anyone else.” she clarified.

“Neither am I. I only have interest in seeing you.” he told her as he smiled around hit last bite of pizza.

“Well, then let’s see where this goes?” she asked.

“I would love that. Now, where were we before the delivery guy so rudely interrupted.” he smiled  mischievously .

Clarke set her now empty wine glass down and crawled back onto his lap, “I think we were right about here.” she whispered against his lips.

Bellamy leaned in the rest of the way and captured her lips in a heated kiss. His hands sliding down her back and settling on her waist. Clarke got lost in the feel of him. He was intoxicating and she was quickly becoming addicted.

She pulled away before things could go any further, “I think I should head home. I need to get to the office early tomorrow since I skipped out today.” she said, but made no move to get off of him.

Bellamy swallowed hard, and shook his head a bit to calm himself down, mainly his body, when he looked at her and smiled, “Might be a good idea. I don’t think I could hold out on my promise to let you take things at your pace if we keep going like this.”

Clarke leaned in and kissed him once more, quicker this time before things could escalate, “I will see you Wednesday Morning.” she told him as she got off of him finally, and made her way to the door.

“Text me when you make it back okay?” he asked.

“Always. Night Bell.” and with that, Clarke made herself leave and head to her own bed. Alone. She also wondered how much longer she could hold out before giving in to what she really wanted. And what she really  wanted , was Bellamy.


End file.
